Insights and Thoughts

Where do you sit on the ‘trust’ spectrum? At one end we have those who believe they can only trust themselves, that everyone else will let them down and it’s only a matter of time as to when this will happen. At the opposite end are people who take others at face value and believe everyone will do what they say they will. As per most things in life these outer extremes can hold us back and our own personal journey has been no different.

As we travel our own path of releasing self-limiting beliefs, we continue to look inward and recall our own experiences of trust. We examine the layers of armour we had put up over many years to protect ourselves and understand why now, they no longer serve a purpose. To be our true authentic selves we must look within and remove these layers. This hasn’t exactly been a walk in the park, it’s meant calling ourselves out on our own baggage.

When thinking about self-limiting beliefs associated with ‘trust’ two coins spring to mind. One is inward facing and the other outward. Both have overused and underused sides.

There are some who find it difficult to place their trust in others because through their experiences, or those handed down to them through their DNA, they now hold the belief the only thing they can truly rely on is themselves, that their destiny sits on their shoulders and their shoulders alone. 

Often those who find it difficult to trust are coming from a place of resilience and sometimes even a place of fear, either way they can be wary of people’s motives. It may be a case of being scared to speak up or say their truth because they believe drama will follow, or it will be used against them at some point in the future. 

There are also those who find it difficult to put their trust in anything they can’t physically see. Where they believe nothing exists beyond science; things like medical or geological science and sometimes at a push emotional. They certainly don’t have a connection to, or belief in a god, other worlds or different dimensions. To them these theories can appear ludicrous and fanciful. 

At the opposite end of the spectrum are those who place their trust in others almost to the point of naivety, often to the detriment of their loved ones around them. These are people generous to the bone, and at worst who'll give the clothes off their back and take food out of the mouths of their family. People who believe everybody applies the same values they do, that nobody will let them down. Very rarely do they stop to question people's motives. 

These are the people who believe if they just give someone one more chance they’ll change or come through this time. Often they’ll repeat the same cycle no matter how many times they’ve been shown evidence to the contrary, no matter the impact their beliefs have on their family.

This opposite end of the spectrum can hold people back as they find themselves expecting a different outcome without changing anything, yet still sorely disappointed when they’re let down.  Some would say this is the definition of stupid. We say this is the definition of someone who has been gripped with a self-limiting belief. 

Going back to our analogy of coins, and looking at the inward facing ‘coin of trust’, it’s easier to identify this in others than it is in ourselves. How many times have you seen your loved ones refuse to do something because they hold the belief they aren’t up for the task when in actual fact they are more than capable? Trust in ourselves doesn’t come easy for some. This may have been inherited through our whakapapa (ancestral lines) or learned throughout this lifetime. Either way it’s an uncomfortable and scary space to be. 

On the flip side of this coin are those who believe they can do things they don’t actually have the skills to do. They appear to have blinkers on when it comes to their own talent or ability. This too can be scary and let’s not downplay it, in the extreme it can be just plain dangerous for the person, themselves and those around them. We see this often in the world and pray they don’t cause harm to others.  

A world where we can openly trust without consequence is a world where everyone can feel safe, where barriers, baggage and armour don’t exist.  It’s a world where we have freedom to be our true authentic self.

A THOUGHT YOU MAY HAVE WHICH can LEAD TO THE UNDERUSE OF TRUSTING YOURSELF IS:

• I can’t do that when in actual fact I can

YOU MAY OVERUSE TRUST IN YOURSELF WHEN YOU:

• Believe you can do things you don’t have the skills to do

• Have blinkers on when it comes to your own talent or ability

SOME THOUGHTS YOU MAY HAVE WHICH LEAD TO THE UNDERUSE OF TRUSTING OTHERS ARE:

• I need to control my own outcome 

• The lessons of the past protect me from making the same mistake therefore I must hold on to the past (and I will judge everyone who seeks my trust by those lessons)

• I don’t need anyone else (this can be code for I don’t trust anybody)

• I believe my manifestations of abundance will happen but only I can make them come true

• My destiny sits on my shoulders alone/I have to make my destiny happen

• If I don’t expect they’ll do what they say they’re going to do I can’t be let down

• Nobody will truly have my best interests at heart

• I can’t tell anyone anything because they won’t keep it to themselves or they’ll use it against me

• I can only trust myself, everyone else will let me down at some point, it’s just a matter of time

• If I speak up or say my truth, then drama will follow

• I always need to question or be wary of people's motives

• There’s nothing beyond science (medical, geological at a push emotional) I don’t have a connection and belief to other worlds/dimensions

• There is only earth and this dimension

• There’s only what I see

SOME THOUGHTS YOU MAY HAVE WHICH LEAD TO THE OVERUSE OF TRUSTING OTHERS ARE:

• Everybody applies the same values I do (to the point of naivety) 

• Everybody will do what they say they will (taking people at face value)

• Nobody will let me down

• Never questioning people's motives, repeating the same cycle

• If I just give them one more chance they’ll change/come through

• Expecting a different outcome without changing anything