I BELIEVE I AM CURED, THEREFORE I AM
“Mauria te pono”
— You can do anything that you set your mind to, as long as you believe in yourself
As a founding member of Next Level Healers, I wanted to share my story of chronic pain to give hope and faith to many others that they too can be healed. I suffered with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS) for six very long years. I’ve now been pain and medication free for eight years and I believe I’m cured.
My journey with CRPS began in 2009. It started with a gardening injury in my right hand and within a few weeks it was radiating through both arms. At the time there was a lot of pressure both at home and at work. I had just built my dream home and bore the burden of the finances. I was in a toxic relationship which had an impact on my emotional and mental state of mind. I was also about to start a new consultancy contract, leading a major transformation for a large organisation, in a city two hours flight away. A lot was riding on this opportunity.
The months following the injury were a living nightmare. I was living away from home, friends, family and my doctor. My health deteriorated considerably, yet I had to present a face of confidence and leadership. My symptoms increased by the week and so too did my fear and isolation. In my darkest moments, the pain would radiate through my whole body down into my feet. At times the pain was unbearable. I would regularly visit Accident and Emergency, who would tell me there’s nothing physically wrong with me. I had ALL the tests performed and every one came back negative.
I was given medication to cope with the pain but these made me so woozy I couldn’t concentrate at all (even today I’m very sensitive to medication). After three months of feeling out of control I finally had to give up work. I had to give myself time to heal and time for my body to adjust to the medication. I had an amazing Occupational Therapist who helped me manage the pain to a tolerable level but I couldn’t kick the chronic pain altogether. I still needed nerve-blocking medication to function.
I was diagnosed with CRPS six months after my initial injury. At that time I didn’t know a single person who had CRPS and had no clue where to go. I was referred to Auckland’s Pain Management Clinic several times but not once heard anything from them (an indication I thought of how many chronic pain sufferers there were). I would spend the next six years going in and out of flare ups with my pain ranging from a 4 on a good day to an 8 where I was climbing the walls with pain radiating through my arms and legs. My doctor continued to prescribe medication to me for six years, without question, without a plan to get me well again. I remember at the beginning of the journey I had prayed like mad I didn’t have carpal tunnel … and then later with no end in sight, wishing it was just carpal tunnel (not to diminish the pain of those who suffer with carpal tunnel).
Five years after my diagnosis I came to the conclusion “I have no one on my team and I’m actually going to suffer this for the rest of my life … unless I do something about it myself”. I had been practising spiritual healing for 20 years at the time and couldn’t work out why I couldn’t crack this. I had resolved myself to the fact I couldn’t heal myself. Actually, this is so wrong! Everyone is capable of healing themselves (and that’s a story for another day). I came across a book about ‘manifestation’ and applied the principles along with my spiritual healing practices. This changed everything! Instead of approaching my healing from a lens of fear ‘I don’t want this pain’, I moved to a lens of gratitude ‘I have so much appreciation for the life I have now that I’m healed’. I imagined I was healed and believed it so badly I could actually feel myself healed. In effect I changed my mindset from that moment and everything else fell into place. Just like winning the lottery ticket, I now live a pain-free and medication-free life … something that I could only have dreamt about.
Years later I’ve used this same method to heal many others of their illness and conditions. Indeed, the processes have been fine-tuned but the principles of changing your mindset, to retrain the brain, is a must if you’re to overcome chronic pain. I know there’s much talk about being no cure for CRPS but I refuse to believe that. For me the difference between cured and remission is my belief. I believe I am cured, therefore I am … and just like that, my brain believes it too.
Learn more about ‘How Our Mindset and Nervous System Impact Our Health’.
Written by Leihia Wilson - Next Level Healers